Clean Up the Mess!

Part Three
So.. I thought I was happy. I was a (very) young, single, hard working, hard playing mother. I had 3-4 jobs at most times. Living on my own with my little girl.. never getting to see her. Between work, working-out and time she would spend with her father's side of the family.. left little time for just me and her. This motivated me to do something.. I decided to go back to school to get get a job that would require less time away and still pay as much as 3-4 part time gigs. With family's help (thankfully!).. I moved back home and dropped a few of the jobs keeping only the one with the YMCA. I went to a tech school for a certification to become a licensed practical nurse. I worked hard, studied hard, and played a little less hard but had no time for working out (so I thought). I was distracted by school and my drive to make really good grades. I went from my little victories being running a little farther on the treadmill or taking and finishing a new level of working out, losing a pound here and there to those victories being replaced with A's on big tests, little tests, quizzes, ect.. i was totally distracted from my own personal health or fitness and was slowly reverting back to old habits of over-eating and not exercising enough for the weight to creep back on. Before I knew what hit me I was 40lbs heavier.

Those 40lbs led to.. you guessed it.. old feelings of failure, self-defeat and disappointment. I let it handicap me for a few more years. Thinking the whole time 'i should really do something about this weight" but remembering how much time and hard work it took and being afraid of failing again and being a disappointment yet again to myself and those around me.. I think I just decided to "try" to ignore it. Yep.. ignore a big pink elephant being attached to your backside for a while and see what happens to ya..haha! I got heavier, more depressed and more discouraged. At this point I was up 70lbs. Weighing 210lbs at five feet eight inches tall.

Somewhere inside of me something started to click again ( i think it was going over that 200lb mark).. I started working out (occasionally) and watching what I ate (somewhat) I lost about 20lbs, half heartedly. But, I felt a small sense of accomplishment again it was good.. Then along came this guy..

Please stay tuned for the next part of my self-discovery story..

tomorrow.

love. love. love!