A Good Mess?

Part Four of Four
Like I was telling you yesterday, there was this guy. Keep in mind a good mess can still be one HOT mess! haha! Once again I found myself.. distracted. I swapped what little time I was spending in the gym for time with and usually dinners out with "my man". The little victories over a pound lost here and there once again fell wayside to little victories of compliments and sweet-nothings. He was terrific and for the first time in over 10 years I felt truly happy with a man! yep, TOTALLY distracted! Until..
only minutes after he popped THE QUESTION. that's right only minutes.. because you know that after saying yes, and oogling your beautiful ring the next thought is THE DRESS! Oh goodness! I weighed about 220lbs by this time and knew I could NOT have one of the most important day of my life photographed forever in this state! Mind you it was October 29th that he proposed (holiday season) and we set the date for January 1, 2009! Little time and ALLOT to do. HIGH STRESS levels and so many holiday goodies lying around I only managed to lose 10lbs by wedding day. I was not happy about it one little bit. But was able to get over it fairly well..seeing that I was marrying the man of my hopes, dreams and prayers! I have let the happiness that love brings tide me over til now. Well, I say that but should note that I have felt an underlying sense of UNhappiness and even depression for the past several months, which I have determined stems only from my self image. Thus, I MUST do something about it!!!! I have absolutely NO reason to depressed.. I have a WONDERFUL husband, daughter, supportive and loving family, I am going back to school now on full scholarship to pursue my dreams of somehow furthering the Kingdom of God, by using my talents given as a nurse, and learning better how to put it all to practice by majoring in missions. I have been truly blessed with a brand new start! Now it is time to take this body that God has given me and make it into its FULL POTENTIAL!

NO MORE self-defeating talk or behaviors! NO MORE EXCUSES! NO MORE cheating myself! NO MORE disappointments (at least not in the area of health and fitness) NO MORE SELF INFLICTED UNHAPPINESS!

I AM this NEW ME.. TODAY! With God's help, His strength, by His power this woman is being made new in Spirit (9-24-06), Mind (12-09-09) AND BODY! (I will be talking about my goals and those due dates next time!)

love. love. love!